Zzz~Sleep~zzZ

A huge topic that can be tumultuous and confusing. I believe the first place to start is your expectations. Many of us set our expectations much too high for when babies will sleep through the night. Circadian rhythms typically do not establish themselves until around 3 months. So honestly until then, babies dont really know the difference between day and night. It is natural during the first few months to try and figure out what made one night easier and another harder and try and problem solve but often times the best thing to do is surrender and problem solve how YOU get through it.

All is not lost though, there are things you can do to introduce good sleep hygiene and help maximize sleep when it comes. Many of these tips I am sure you have heard of.

-Number one is keep it as dark and boring as possible. Blue light (phones, tvs) really stimulate a baby and can distract them from sleep.

-Swaddling is a good option while asleep to keep the stir reflex from waking them up. Once baby shows signs of rolling over its time to ditch the swaddle.

-68-72 degrees (humidity level between 40-60%) is the goldilocks temperature for babies, so keeping the bedroom at that temperature can help a baby stay comfy.

-Because babies between 0-3 months haven’t established a circadian rhythm you can put the baby down to sleep at a bedtime that matches your schedule a bit better and adjust as they get a bit older to an earlier time. This way you are maximizing a chunk of sleep when you actually intend to go to bed.

I have found during these early stages loading a baby up on food during the day in hopes they will sleep longer at night does not typically work. It makes sense in theory, and is certainly something more successful as they get older and their stomachs can handle a bit more food at once.

If you intend to sleep train, I suggest methods that don’t begin until at least 4 months old. If our goal is for babies to self soothe we first have to teach them how by example, and these early months is our opportunity to do so. Sleep will be much more successful for everyone. I fully support whatever method works for you and your family and this suggestion is not about demonizing sleep training but about not setting you up for failure because your baby is simply not on the same page about sleep yet.

Co-Sleeping is a huge topic of debate. Many people do it and don’t say anything because of the judgment that may come because of this decision. We have stigmatized it so deeply that it can be difficult to find resources on how to do it safely. If its not your thing, thats totally fine. But sometimes it happens. It is important to talk about safe bed-sharing as a real option so we aren’t just making best guesses about how to do it.

So what can we do to help you get through?

Its important to remember sleep is different for everyone. Some feel the effects of less sleep more than others, and thats not a matter of opinion it just hits differently for some. You may be snippy or just generally not feel great. It helps to be mentally prepared and also give yourself some grace, seriously.

-Creating a schedule with your partner, if applicable, is one option that can help both of you get more protected and interrupted sleep. Although, if you are body feeding on demand you may want to take that into consideration when creating a schedule that works for both of you. You may decide to switch every X amount of hours and one partner does certain tasks to help balance out the labor of bodyfeeding and recovering.

-Use of an overnight doula can also help you catch up on some sleep. This service typically entails that the doula is on baby watch from 10pm-6am and will only wake you to feed the baby or to pump.

-Use of a daytime doula allows you to have protected naps during the day and can also check some things off of your to-do list so you have more time to rest.

-There is a method where you stay in bed until you have had a total of 8 hours of sleep. (or a number you are more comfortable with) Keep in mind this isn’t 8 hours in bed it is however many hours in bed until you have had 8 hours of sleep. This can be challenging for some, but if you find the lack of sleep is degrading your well being in a serious way I suggest trying it for a few nights at least.

Its important to remember this is temporary, all babies eventually sleep through the night. Its chaotic and it can leave you feeling shitty and its okay to acknowledge that. It will pass. You will get through it!

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